Chances Are You've Spent Years Trying to Manage Your Anxiety on Your Own. Why Change Course Now?
When is it Time to Take Anxiety Seriously?
Exhaustion. Are You Exhausted With the Way You Are Living Your Life?
Anxiety is exhausting, first and foremost. Your body wasn't designed for the world you're living in and it certainly wasn't designed to exist in a continual state of Fight, Flight, or Freeze. That stuff runs on a lot of adrenaline and other nasty stress hormones. Hormones that were designed to get you Out of Dodge Fast when there's real danger, but just run havoc in your nervous system when they show up for no real reason. Your natural survival hormones and the chemical cascade of panic can either save your life when you're in a jam and on the run from a big predator or literally put you in an early grave.
Perfectionism. The Big Lie You've Been Telling Yourself.
Or we're incapable of slowing down and resting at all. Can't. Sit. Still. Most Anxious Folk are merciless in the ways they drive themselves. Our striving for perfectionism is the currency that allows us to feel half-way okay with ourselves. The problem is, Perfectionism pays very poor dividends. Not only is it unhealthy, Perfectionism is an unkind way to treat ourselves. Perfection simply doesn't exist. I think it could and should be classified as a form of torture. True story. Really, Perfectionism is just our Great Big Ol' Mean Mommy Critical Internal Voice having another go at us. We can never be good enough!
Relationships. Your Anxiety Can Run Your Relationships Right Off The Road.
No one enjoys being managed. And here's the thing, Anxious Folk are great care-takers and managers. Some of us can come off as a bit, um, controlling. It's our thing. We know how to take care of people. Even when they don't want to be taken care of. It's one of the ways we make sure everything is running smoothly in our world.
One thing a lot of Anxious Folk feel pretty comfortable with is the idea that the world would be better off if they were in charge! Sometimes we just can't relax on the inside until we're sure the our outside world is in order. This includes kitchen counters, piles of laundry, and the way the people in our orbit are relating and not relating with each other. It may not be an ecological use of our energy, but Anxious Folk will expend a good deal of time, thought, and life force making sure everything is alright.
When Anxious Folk are in Full Anxious Swing, then we can be highly invested in making sure things are Right. And Safe. And predictable. Some of the Anxious Folk I work with have a hard time allowing themselves to recreate. Or chill. Or take a vacation. Or board an airplane. Invariably, they've paired themselves with someone who is more laid back. So, what was meant to be a nice counter balance morphs into relational conflict. Lovers who feel hemmed in. Children who won't return your calls. Friends who feel they're getting more advice than they want. Chaos in LoveLand!
If you're Exhausted With "Doing," Over-Thinking, Perfectionism, and Your Relationships Are Out of Sync, it May be Time to Rewind and Reconnect to Your Own Inner Balance.
It Takes More Than Will Power and Self-Help Books.
I should know. I work with Anxious Folk every day in my two Orange County offices. In fact, it is my specialty. I know anxiety from the inside out, if you get my drift. And here's what I've learned from the hundreds of Anxious Folk I've worked with over the years: healing anxious experience requires support, know-how, and more than a good insight-oriented talk therapy. In my opinion reducing overwhelming anxiety requires getting in there and working with your nervous system (I use body-oriented psychotherapy techniques including Somatic Experiencing--you'll love it), cleaning out some of the thought cobwebs, getting some good solid boundaries in place, and learning forms of deep self-care that go way beyond a few minutes at the gym and a glass of wine.
You Need To Know, it Will Take Some Time.
VICTORIA WALLACE SCHLICHT, MA, LMFT, SEP
3300 Irvine Ave., Ste. 111, Newport Beach, CA 92660
2030 East 4rth Street, Ste. 111 Santa Ana, CA 92705
In the beautiful Cabrillo Park area
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"I help people who feel bad feel better."