Let's Start With Preference.
Why Seek Out A Trained Relationship Specialist?
It's A Little Stressy.
And you know what else? It can be hard talking about issues. Definitely. And threatening. It can even make you mad. Here's the thing, though, the issues exist whether you're willing to address them from the start or not. Virtually every couple has areas they could grow in and benefit from addressing. Premarital counseling is like getting a good tune up before you hit the road. Premarital counseling can provide great training and a good foundation for moving forward and managing difficulties more smoothly as they arise.
Premarital Counseling Isn't Just For Couples With "Issues" or For Identifying Problems.
A good assessment will require you to look closely at issues you may not have explored fully during the flurry of falling in love. Differences about money, money management, roles, interacting with extended family, and personal temperament. Knowledge like this is invaluable in creating a happy life together and setting you up to celebrate the differences and commonalities that contribute to your being a unique and loving couple.
Why Do Premarital Counseling At All?
I can tell you one of the biggest issues in the first few years of marriage are unacknowledged and unspoken expectations of one another. Sometimes we don't even know what we expect, we only know when it hasn't happened. We figure out our unexamined expectations as a result of our unexpected resentments and disappointments. Ouch!
An effective premarital assessment will uncover unconscious expectations as well as the unvoiced. This is a huge safeguard for your relationship down the line. Once your expectations are identified, explored, and aired out, they no longer exists as landmines to trip on down the line. You won't be disappointing yourselves or each other nearly as often. Less hurt feelings. Less disappointments. Stronger, happier marriage.
Premarital Counseling Safeguards Your Marriage.
Celebrating Our Differences.
Some differences define areas where we agree to disagree. Every marriage contains some topics such as these. When these differences are not deal breakers, then we can learn to negotiate them. Your premarital assessment can identify personality differences--there are always some--and a skilled therapist can mentor you in negotiating and understanding these differences in a productive and healthy way.
You're going to spend a lifetime learning about yourselves and each other. This is what long term committed relationship looks like. This will be true whether you invest some time in a premarital assessment and counseling now or not. Premarital counseling simply gives you a leg up. It can help you identify challenges and strengths as a couple, provide you with better understanding of those qualities, and most importantly, provide you with a great set of tools to continue your journey together.