And it's no wonder. Your wedding is a huge event, both as a party and as a marker in adult life. A once in a life time moment. On top of that, there's a massive wedding industry built around keeping you busy (and increasingly broke!) as you approach your wedding date. In fact, in 2013 American couples spent over 51 Billion--yes, Billion with a "B"--dollars on their weddings and wedding related events. Goodness! That's a lot of down payments on first homes, right there. But what is that money buying you?
It's Easy To Get Really Side-tracked And Bedazzled By The Wedding Whirlwind.
And entirely designed to put you abso-freaking-lutely to sleep. Completely.
Yes, Your Wedding Is Designed to Put You To Sleep!
Of Course We Know What We're Doing! If We Didn't Think We Knew, We Wouldn't Be Doing It In The First Place.
We understand it on the surface, of course. We're getting married! Everyone knows what that means! Don't they? You'd think so, but I can tell you as a licensed marriage and family therapist, as a professional Relationship Whisperer, as someone who has been sitting with Orange County couples for the last thirteen years, couples don't take enough time to examine what marriage means to them as a couple and individually. The thinking time has been designed out of the whole wedding planning deal. These unexamined dreams, expectations, and assumptions are the rocks marriages crash on five, ten, fifteen years down the line.
So, Are You Curious ABout The Number One Reason You Should Never Ever Do Premarital Counseling? Ever?
Just The Sound Of the Words "Premarital Counseling" Is Freaking Terrifying!
Here's the thing, all that stuff is going to come up anyway over the course of your marriage. Over the course of your first year of marriage. And every year after that. No matter how perfect you are for each other. No matter how much you love each other. No matter how big your Big Love is. Because, my dears, that's marriage in a nutshell. Kinda great. Kinda messy. Kinda long. Unless it's not. Long.
Couples Who Have Premarital Counseling Report higher Levels of Marital Satisfaction and Are 30% Less Likely To Divorce Over The First Five Years of Marriage.
It turns out the scariest thing that's not on your wedding planning list is the one thing you actually really need to support your long-term success. Premarital Counseling.
Premarital Counseling gives you the opportunity to explore multiple issues across every area of your married life. Many are issues most couples somehow forget to even talk about. You'll have the chance to identify and even resolve some of these things before you walk down the aisle. You can take a sober loving and compassionate look at the areas of your relationship you'll want to develop better skills for negotiating. You can take a few hours and do the one thing that will make all the rest of this joyous, stressful, wonderful nuts-ness worthwhile and pay off in the long-term. Secure your marriage by attending to it first.
So, Have Your Big Beautiful Party! And Your Perfect Day. And Attend to The Long-Term Health Of Your Relationship As You Do So.
I use a time-tested, efficacy-based program, Prepare/Enrich, to evaluate and support all my premarital couples. If you're interested in chatting more with me about the value of premarital counseling for you and your intended, please take advantage of my complimentary 15 minute consult and give me a call. 714.914.5565