Are You Feeling Overwhelmed And Stuck?
If You're The One Holding The Key, There Should Be No Problem, Right?
Here's the thing, we do enough of this often enough, for long enough, without any sense of what is actually appropriate, and we end up overextended, exhausted, trapped by our own willingness, burdened, resentful, blaming, sometimes feeling martyred and taken for granted. Sucks. Big time. The good news? While, yes, we are our own jolly jailer, we not only hold the key, we are the key. It's just a matter of figuring out what makes that lock fall open.
When We Are Talking About Freedom, It's Always Going To Come Down To Boundaries.
Acting on what we feel needs to be done does relieve our anxiety in the moment. That's also part of the problem. As a result, our self-soothing through taking action is a self-reinforcing behavior. It also exhausts us. Ultimately pulling us deeper into exhaustion and our downward anxiety spiral. Our lack of appropriate boundaries for ourselves and others can lead to discord in our relationships, because guess what? It doesn't always feel good to be helped. It definitely doesn't feel good to be managed or controlled. In fact, it's irritating and obnoxious. Displeasing. Perfect. This is the precise opposite of what our anxious self is trying to create in our world.
It's Okay To Help. It is. Yet, We Need To Know When And How Much To Offer.
and not be up in someone else's business, and learn what is a healthy and appropriate offer or request for help. How much of either is too much? When we are trapped in our own anxious self-soothing through our over-functioning mindset, it all feels essential and urgent and as if there is no choice left to us. We feel compelled.It can feel like taking charge is the only option.
We feel trapped.
You Can Learn To Create Your Freedom.
In the process of learning ourselves at a deeper level, we can end up momentarily feeling self-absorbed and selfish. If it's never really been okay to prioritize yourself, so this will be very uncomfortable. Learning ourselves, knowing ourselves, feeling into what is a healthy boundary for ourselves, our own behaviors, and what we accept or tolerate in the behaviors of others towards us is the slow, incremental work of self-development. It is work that often benefits from the mentorship and guidance of a trusted helper. This. This self development, this stepping into knowing ourselves deeper, and sorting through our decisions, wants, dreams, needs. This is the depthful work of good therapy and the creation of a life more free from shouldering unquestioned obligation and worry. It's there for the taking. More peace. More ease. More happiness in your primary relationships. More freedom. It's yours. After all, you are The Key.