Essentially, boundaries are how we train ourselves and others about how to behave. Boundaries allow us to build more satisfying relationships and even to stay in healthier relationships with some of the most difficult people we love. Boundaries create safety and greater satisfaction in our relationships.
Boundaries allow us to feel less chaotic, less stressed, less overburdened, and less alone. Boundaries are how we teach ourselves and others, "This far and no further." It's how we establish our limits and our preferences. Ultimately, boundaries are the Gold Standard in both self-care and in cultivating our self awareness regarding our own behaviors in interactions with others. Good boundaries allow our relationships to be more enjoyable and far less exhausting. Engaging in relationships becomes energetically sustainable again.
Building Boundaries Promotes
We Don't Always Know What An Appropriate Boundary Looks Like.
In truth, for many of us, this has been the way it's been since we were toddlers. Sometimes, our chaotic or painful family systems felt like they required us to feel into the needs of the adults around us and do what we could to meet those needs. It makes sense. It's a safety first issue of survival and the highly intelligent or emotionally intelligent child is going to sense this and act on it. Good thing, too. These anxious coping strategies can serve us well in childhood and bring us through safely to the other side. The thing is those brilliant strategies of childhood do not serve us near as well as adults.
Boundaries Keep Everyone In Their Own Lane.
As an individual, your job is to know and understand yourself. Know, understand yourself and what you need in life and how to fulfill those needs in a healthy manner. It's actually not your role--not your healthiest role--to be a caretaker for everyone around you. It's not your job to know what everyone else needs and make sure you make that happen for them. That's their job. That's their personal work and area of personal growth. Get out of the way and let them have at it.
Yet, when we are trapped in our anxious experience of ourselves, it can feel like we have to act. There is no choice. That is your anxious mind lying to you, right there.
Boundaries Relieve Stress.
Learning To Set Boundaries is Particularly Difficult For Anxious People.
When we stop overextending ourselves in our relationships, at home, in our friendships, and in our business relationships, then work and relationships become more satisfying, less exhausting, and less burdensome. Life feels immeasurably lighter. In your heart, in your mind, and in your body. When everyone takes care of themselves, gives and receives support relatively equally, then we are all more satisfied in life. Relationships become more enjoyable and much less stressful over time. We can learn boundaries. And in so doing, we learn to be happier. Happiness is definitely the learning curve we want to be climbing, isn't it?